Separating the Stigma from Separation

Overcoming the stigma surrounding divorce (image of medieval couple before the court)

By Ivan Fischer

Divorce is not uncommon in a contemporary sense but the remnants of the stigma surrounding divorce are still present.

According to Statistics Canada, “…The number of divorces recorded in 2020 was the lowest since 1973” (Statistics Canada, 2022), which may be misconstrued optimistically as increased faith in marriage. However, the decrease was more likely to be due to “…barriers accessing court services during the COVID-19 pandemic contributing to the decrease in divorce applications and granted divorces in 2020” (Statistics Canada, 2022). Pessimism aside, attitudes towards divorcees during that time period are worth considering.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced in August 2023 that he and his wife, Sophie Gregoire Trudeau, were separating. The choice of words in that announcement is interesting in that Prime Minister Trudeau and Sophie Gregoire Trudeau both maintained it is “a separation, not divorce” (Aiello, 2023).

This speaks to the still-present stigma of divorce, and how it affects those in the public eye, specifically as high-profile a marriage as that of the Prime Minister of Canada. In both Justin Trudeau’s and Sophie Gregoire Trudeau’s respective social media updates, they posted the same message which mentioned having “meaningful conversations”, “remain(ing) a close family”, and “asking for respect and privacy”. The updates included the word ‘separate’, but did not include ‘divorce’.

Back in 1977, Prime Minister Pierre Elliot Trudeau, Justin Trudeau’s father, announced the separation from his then wife, Margaret Trudeau. In an interesting parallel, Justin Trudeau became the second Prime Minister to separate from their spouse while in office in Canadian history, second only to his own father. In a similarly worded press release, it was announced publicly that  “Pierre accepts Margaret’s decision with regret and both pray that their separation will lead to a better relationship between themselves” (Ferriera, 2023). Although Pierre Elliot Trudeau and Margaret Trudeau would eventually divorce in 1983, at the time of the separation it was just that; a separation.

On the other side of the world “the divorce rate in China has risen from 0.96 divorces for every 1,000 people in 2000 to 3.10 in 2020” (Lin, 2023). With this increase in frequency, the nature of divorce in the country is becoming more normalized while women are attempting to shed the stigma of going through with and being divorced.

One 34-year-old woman threw herself a party after her divorce “shaking off social stereotypes around divorce that suggest she should feel shame and failure, she decided to throw a party with all of her girlfriends. She put on a favourite black dress from the time before she met her husband, to honour that she was ‘getting back to the life before marriage’ ”(Lin, 2023).

Another Chinese woman who recently divorced shared the same attitude, saying “failure in marriage or relationships does not mean failure in my life” (Lin, 2023).

This reclamation of the attitude surrounding divorce may be a clue as to how a different approach to divorce could help mitigate the more sombre or stressful trials that accompany it.

Perhaps those who are going through divorce in Canada could try to change their angle of vision on the process and adopt the idea of the ‘rebirth’ instead of a failure in their marriages. Perhaps Canadian Prime Ministers could inspire others to free themselves from the stigma by being unafraid of divorcing the stigma from the separation.

Aiello, Rachel. ‘Really difficult time’: What We Know, What’s Being Said After Trudeaus Reveal Split, www.ctvnews.ca, August 3, 2023

Ferriera, Jennifer. Is Trudeau the First Prime Minister to Separate From Their Spouse While in Office?, www.ctvnews.ca, August 2, 2023

Lin, Chi Hui (Summer), ‘Happy rebirth!’: Chinese Women Shake Off Taboos Around Divorce to Celebrate Freedom, www.theguardian.com, Oct 11, 2023

Statistics Canada, A Fifty-year Look at Divorces in Canada, 1970 to 2020, https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/, March 9, 2022